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MAKICHUK: This election has too many treats for even my cat

But, it must be said, that even Burt is non-plussed by the basket of treats being dished out by the federal parties in this completely unnecessary COVID-19 federal election of 2021.

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His name is Burt and he likes his treats.

But I didn’t find out that he originally came from Egypt until I visited Cairo.

I had just seen and touched the pyramids of Giza — with my own hands. What a thrill that was.

And now I was soaking up the atmosphere at the bar across the way, in the air-conned glory of the Meridien hotel – racking up one hell of a bill, I might add.

Triple vodkas on ice tend to be pricey.

As the afternoon wore on, I got to chatting with the barkeep and we ended up exchanging cellphone photos of our cats.

I showed her a pic of Burt, my Mackerel Tabbie, that we rescued off the mean streets of Red Deer and she immediately blurted out the breed originally came from Egypt!

Well … this I did not know. 

In fact, there’s a lot I don’t know.

But getting back to Burt, whom we sometimes call The Burtman, or, Burt-chek — he doesn’t seem to mind — yes, he loves his treats (which are called Dreamies in Europe).

And God forbid should I ever forget to serve them up. No doubt, I’ll get a phone call from his legal team at Hungadunga, Hungadunga and Shultz. (Joke courtesy Groucho Marx.)

But, it must be said, that even Burt is nonplussed by the basket of treats being dished out by the federal parties in this completely unnecessary COVID-19 federal election of 2021.

No cat on the planet, not even Larry The 10 Downing St. Cat — a close friend of prime ministers — gets that many treats, and he’s almost royalty.

So far, Liberal treats from Justin the Younger include a $1-billion fund to help provinces implement vaccine passport systems, better standards for long-term care and funding to the provinces to reduce health care wait times and hire more health workers.

There are NDP pledges from Jagmeet Singh to create national plans for dental and mental health care and universal pharmacare — free drugs, folks, free drugs!

Under Leader Erin O’Toole, who, by the way, doesn’t look as good as Peter O’Toole, and could never play the part of Erin of Arabia, is treating us to an overhaul of Canada’s pandemic plan. 

Oh dear. We had a plan?

They’ve also pledged to increase provincial transfers for mental health care and addiction services. Not a bad treat, actually, Burt says.

Mr. Bernier pledged to make no promises, which is probably quite honest, and the Greens, well … they’re living on some distant world, certainly not ours, so let’s quietly slink away and not bother them.

All in all, that’s quite a lot of treats and Burt is highly skeptical whether any or all of those treats would ever happen.

Not one single federal party said anything about cat treats. No COVID-19 subsidies for catnip mice or cat litter, either, nada. Very suspicious, says Burt.

Considering cats (and yeah, dogs too, I guess) contribute $US7 billion to the Canadian economy, and $197 million in wet food pet sales, Burt thinks the feds should include them when it comes to forming national policy.

And so, I asked Burt who would he like to bite in the leg. 

This is Burt’s favourite pastime by the way, especially at 3 a.m. in the morning, when he’s doing a Crazy Ivan and bouncing off the walls.

Burt paused a long time, licked several parts of his fur, and said:

He couldn’t bite Mr. Singh, he’s just too nice a guy, even though his head’s in the socialist clouds. Mr. O’Toole is ex-military, and, he looks too much like nice Uncle Terry. 

Annamie Paul? Yves-François Blanchet? Don’t even get me started, says Burt. 

As for Justin the Younger, Burt said there aren’t enough leg bites in the world for that frat boy poseur. Anybody who has been convicted twice of breaching ethics shouldn’t even be in office, he said.

Instead, Burt bit my leg and that settled the matter.

Now that the Burt-man is on the RCMP watch list, it is highly likely that CSIS/K-INSET will be surveilling his cat box.

In closing, I asked Burt — to borrow a quote from Tolstoy — “What then must we do?”

Who do we vote for? It seems there are no good options.

Burt yawned widely and offered up a parable of his favourite singer, Frank Sinatra.

Frank was in a New York Italian restaurant, having a meal with his entourage.

The waiter came out, and said: “Mr. Sinatra, the cook is a big, big fan or yours, he has all your records, he’s dying to meet you … is it OK if he comes out?”

Sinatra, chowing down on his pasta, not looking up, said, “Yeah, sure.”

So out comes the cook.

“Mr. Sinatra, it is so wonderful to meet you, I’m your biggest fan … blah blah blah.”

Frank shakes his hand, and says “Thanks pal, appreciate that.”

The cook walks away, and then stops, turns, and says, “Uh, one more thing Mr. Sinatra … “

Frank says, “Look pal, you’ve had your moment, now f–k off.”

Justin has had his moment, enough is enough. It’s time for change folks.

And if you have a local organization that rescues cats, and also dogs, toss them $25 or whatever you can afford, says Burt.

We don’t need any more federal handouts from Ottawa, he added, nor a boatload of treats. We just need to pull up our bootstraps, be strong and get back to business.

Let the fur fly!

Dave Makichuk is a Western Standard contributor
He has worked in the media for decades, including as an editor for the Calgary Herald. He is also the military editor for the Asia Times.
makichukd@gmail.com

Dave Makichuck is a Columnist for the Western Standard. He is a 35-year veteran journalist who has served at both the Calgary Sun and Calgary Herald.

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Loophole benching minor hockey in Cochrane

Within hours of sending out the e-mail, Oaten confirmed between 30 and 40 kids had withdrawn from the program.

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Although new restrictions announced this week allow for recreational sports to continue for youth under 18 without proof of vaccination, one minor detail is benching minor hockey players in Cochrane.

Thursday morning, Cochrane Minor Hockey Association (CMHA) President Cory Oaten, was sent an e-mail from Hockey Alberta stating: “…based on Hockey Alberta’s interpretation of current information, minor hockey games and practices can continue, subject to the updated temporary measures that came into effect at 12:01 am this morning.”

However, Friday morning, Oaten was notified by his local facility, Spray Lake Sawmills Family Sports Centre, it would be requiring proof of vaccination for those 12 and older entering the building.

That morning Oaten notified families registered with CMHA of the new requirement and included a provided statement from the facility and assured families the decision was not that of Hockey Alberta or CMHA.

“… all persons entering the Cochrane Arena or SLSFSC (ages 12+) must show proof of full vaccination, proof of a single dose as long as the dose was given more than two weeks ago, a negative test result or a medical doctor approved medical exemption.”

“Tonnes of kids are withdrawing,” Oaten said.

Within hours of sending out the e-mail, Oaten confirmed between 30 and 40 kids had withdrawn from the program.

“I’m not against the vaccines, but I’m pro-choice,” Oaten said.

The Western Standard spoke with one father who pulled his CMHA player as a result of the facility mandates. He requested to remain anonymous.

“Obviously the government is just passing the buck on this and it’s the businesses that are going to take the brunt,” he said.

A father of four children under the age of 12, he was also in line to coach his son’s team, but will not be permitted inside as he is not vaccinated.  

“We’re not the type of parents that are just going to drop our kids off at a facility and leave them unsupervised,” he said, adding those decisions effectively ended his kids’ participation in CMHA’s sports programs.

He said he also has concerns for the liability involved with those businesses being ill-equipped to manage peoples’ sensitive health records.

“Forget the legality of all this. Morally, we just can’t support businesses that take this approach.”

Alberta Country Singer and former health care worker at the Alberta Children’s Hospital, Paul Brandt, took to Facebook on Friday to express his thoughts on the vaccine passport issue.  

Facebook post

“I want to be clear, I am not against vaccines,” his post confirms. “What is troubling to me is this: Why aren’t people who have had COVID and recovered being included in the conversation?”

Brandt’s son is a CMHA player. Both have recovered from COVID-19.

“Why are we not being recognized as people who have adequate immunity?

As of today, my son has also been told by the arena that hosts his hockey association he will not be allowed to participate in sports unless he is vaccinated—even though he has immunity to COVID-19, and is of no greater risk to his peers than anyone else.”

Oaten pointed out that players who have yet to be vaccinated will be eliminated from the important tryouts happening now and, because of wait times between doses and the 14-day waiting period to be considered fully vaccinated, many will miss a chunk of the season.

“It’s about the kids,” said an emotional Oaten.

“What makes me upset is kids are going to have to quit hockey because they don’t want to have to choose a medical procedure in order to play.”

Risdon is a reporter for the Western Standard
mrisdon@westernstandardonline.com

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WS EXCLUSIVE: UCP vice-president calls for emergency meeting to initiate leadership review

“I think we need to carefully consider the option of initiating a leadership review. I believe the future of our party may be at stake.”

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The Western Standard has obtained an email from the vice-president (policy) of Alberta’s United Conservative Party (UCP) calling for an emergency meeting of the province-wide board of directors to discuss a leadership review of Alberta Premier Jason Kenney.

Joel Mullan e-mailed the party’s board of directors at 8:33 pm MST September 17, under the subject line “Leadership review—request for meeting.”

“In light of events this past week, I believe we should meet and therefore request a meeting,” wrote Mullan.

“Specifically, I think we need to carefully consider the option of initiating a leadership review. I believe the future of our party may be at stake.”

The Western Standard spoke to a member of the party’s board of directors who received the e-mail who said—on condition of anonymity—a timely review of Kenney’s leadership has “become inevitable.”

As of publishing it’s not known if the request for an emergency meeting has been accepted by party president Ryan Becker or the board at large.

One day before, the Western Standard reported the UCP constituency association (CA) in Olds-Didsbury-Three Hills voted almost unanimously to trigger a prompt leadership review of Kenney.

The party currently has a review scheduled for late 2022, but that could be within six months of the next election, and for local CA president Robert Smith, that’s not good enough.

By a vote of 27-1, the CA’s board voted to send a letter to the party demanding a review before that as soon as possible, but before next March, said Smith.

“We would love for it to happen tomorrow,” Smith told the Western Standard.

“In talking to people, mainly rural people, it’s fair to say we have no confidence in the premier.”

While the letter was sent on the heels of controversial new COVID-19 lockdown restrictions introduced by Kenney—including the imposition of a vaccine passport—Smith stressed the letter wasn’t as a result of that, but had been brewing for months.

But he said those restrictions could help the momentum to reach the mark of 22 ridings needed to spark a leadership review.

Smith said he gets a sense in talking to other constituency association leaders “critical mass of 22 ridings could have been reached now.

“I feel confident in saying that target can now be met. I’m surprised it hasn’t been met before,” he said.

Clockwise, Jason Nixon, Tyler Shandro, Jason Kenney, Travis Toews, and an unidentified guest on the rooftop patio of the “Sky Palace”

One of the biggest concerns for the board was when the now infamous pictures f Kenney holding an outdoor dinner on the balcony of the “Sky Palace”—in contravention of the government’s of laws, regulations, and guidelines—were published.

“The entitlement and the double standard incensed the board,” said Smith.

In April, a UCP MLA told the Western Standard they are “100% certain” Kenney will be the subject of an early party leadership review.

“Caucus is in total chaos,” said the MLA, who spoke with the Western Standard on the condition of anonymity.

The Western Standard reported earlier there are at least eight ridings now on board for a review.

Even earlier this week there were signs of dissension with the UCP Caucus.

During a tense meeting of caucus Tuesday, three MLAs told Kenney they had “no confidence” in his continued premiership of the province and leadership of the party, multiple sources told the Western Standard.

Sources inside of the caucus told the Western Standard the emergency meeting saw sharp polarization around the issues of putting the province under another lockdown, a potential mandatory vaccine passport, and firing healthcare workers who did not agree to be vaccinated.

According to the MLAs who attended the caucus meeting, three MLAs openly told Kenney they had “no confidence” in him, and several others implied as much using softer language.

The sources all gave the same three names, but none of the three MLAs responded to request for comment or confirmation from the Western Standard.

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THOMSON: An Alberta solution to the drug poisoning crisis

A regulated drug supply is the best deal on offer to shrink public health costs and enforcement budgets and repossess the drug market from organized crime syndicates, while creating good jobs and preserving the lives of thousands of working-age Albertans.

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Dr. Euan Thomson is an entrepreneur, scientist and director of EACH+EVERY, a coalition of over 100 Alberta businesses calling for policy action to end the overdose crisis.

Drug poisoning is the leading cause of death among working-age Albertans, claiming more than 1,800 Albertan lives since the beginning of 2020. Almost all of these people were between the ages of 15 and 60, and people in the trades are vastly overrepresented.

These tragedies are more accurately called poisonings because people typically cannot be certain what they’re taking when they consume illegal drugs. Surviving through an unregulated drug supply is its own small miracle, particularly as elephant-strength synthetic opioids like carfentanil now slip through our sieve-like borders.

Let’s face it: synthetic opioids have extinguished any hope of “winning” the war on drugs, given the entire 2016 American fentanyl supply could fit into a dozen oil drums.

Albertans are free thinkers, and this crisis calls for a made-in-Alberta solution that centres personal autonomy, free enterprise, fiscal responsibility, and a healthy irreverence toward federal power. A century into drug prohibition with nothing to show but accelerating body counts, it is time to regain control through a regulated market.

The idea that in a regulated market, we would walk into corner stores and find crystal meth between the Mentos and Tic Tacs would be laughable if it wasn’t so widely cited. For experimenting adolescents, alcohol is at least as hard to obtain as illegal drugs precisely because its access is controlled—a distinction that also encourages open conversations and harm reduction measures. We can implement regulatory barriers as needed to keep kids safe, but only once we control the supply. For adults, the question is much simpler: shouldn’t we be allowed to put what we want in our bodies?

Decriminalization is the first step toward a legal market. Since decriminalizing drugs 20 years ago, Portugal has among the lowest youth drug use rates in Europe and effectively left its drug poisoning crisis behind. Our federal parties are short on details around their vision for ending Canada’s crisis, but the Western Standard Editorial Board recently gave the federal NDP’s platform section on drug policy the only A-grade for endorsing decriminalization and other measures emphasizing personal autonomy and freedom from harassment by authorities. (For the record, it was one of the only high-scoring parts of the NDP platform from the Western Standard.)

It turns out, people across the political spectrum agree after a hundred years, criminalization has failed to even slow down drug use, let alone end it.

While personal autonomy and market philosophy are intuitive drug policy cornerstones, the fiscal argument is at least as compelling. The Cato Institute reports ending the War on Drugs would eliminate $27 billion USD a year from American enforcement budgets and siphon $40 billion a year from organized crime. For Canada, this translates to billions cut from our enforcement, judicial and incarceration balance sheet and billions added to taxable sales. Meanwhile, reducing hospital visits due to drug poisonings could single-handedly solve the chronic ambulance shortages squeezing our emergency response capacity.

A regulated drug supply is the best deal on offer to shrink public health costs and enforcement budgets and repossess the drug market from organized crime syndicates, while creating good jobs and preserving the lives of thousands of working-age Albertans.

How can we propel this plan against the drag of federal inaction?

First, set up a province-wide exemption from Section 56 of the federal Controlled Drugs and Substances Act to abolish police enforcement of drug possession laws.

Next, support Albertan pilot projects to prescribe safe supply options to encourage more widespread access and choke off the demand for a street supply. Non-profit compassion clubs would cover those who cannot afford their prescriptions, as we saw during cannabis prohibition.

Finally, establish the first provincial Section 55 exemption to allow for drug manufacturing and distribution here at home, a move that would instantly benefit a Lethbridge-based operation and their partners in the nearby Blood Tribe. Alberta Gaming, Liquor & Cannabis already looks after compliance for legal drugs; we can apply similar stringency around labelling on the new products so people know what they’re taking.

Then watch as other provinces struggling with the same crisis adopt this updated, evidence-based Alberta Model; one that aligns compassion for people who use drugs with core values shared by so many in this province: personal autonomy, free enterprise, and fiscal responsibility.

While we’re at it, we can thumb our collective nose at a century of bad federal policy—all together, on brand for Alberta.

Tell your local federal and municipal candidates, as well as your provincial MLA, you want to see your values reflected in our drug policies.

Dr. Euan Thomson is an entrepreneur, scientist and director of EACH+EVERY, a coalition of over 100 Alberta businesses calling for policy action to end the overdose crisis.


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